The Moment: Part I
It’s a grey day in Portland, OR. I finally have time to reflect. We had planned this trip months ago, but it’s nice how the timing worked out.
Last week was probably the most exciting week of my life. After what seemed like the longest application process known to man, we got the final piece in the mail 11 days ago. We were both under the assumption that we’d be matched within 4-6 weeks from submitting that last piece. We got a happy surprise on Monday morning when Pauline, our adoption agent, gave us a call letting us know we’d been matched with twin girls!
If you know about me, I was adopted with my twin sister who is the reigning champ of being my best friend. Our explanation for many things is “it’s a twin thing” and it really is a special unexplainable bond. My heart soared knowing our daughters would be together.
Having to sit through my all day corporate athlete training at work after hearing the news was torture. Pauline emailed us a fairly comprehensive package for each girl filled with medical information, little tidbits about their personalities, and the best part – pictures! My facilitator had a hard no laptop policy and I was reeling. I couldn’t wait to see those little faces staring back at me.
Once I did, I concluded they’re the most perfect kids to ever grace the earth. That’s what all parents conclude right? Am I nailing the parenting thing??? While I would love to share pictures and shout from the top of a mountain how adorable these little cuties are, we signed some pretty restrictive policies which don’t allow us to share photos on social media or other public outlets until they’re truly our girls. Until then, you’ll have to imagine little angels… or devil bunnies as my dad endearingly called us. 🙂
There are always a number of balls in the air to juggle at any given moment, so I know our work is far from over. We’ve had pediatricians specializing in Korean adoptions look through the medical records and we already have some things to monitor that could lead to some routine surgery.
In the meantime, we’re trying not to let the news go to our heads. As if that’s not an impossible feat. Yesterday, we perused some group adoption resource books at Powell’s.
Adoption, while not uncommon, is not common in the sense that many people have personally experienced it, even on the periphery. We’ve already gotten some well intentioned questions/comments, but it can be a pretty tricky thing to navigate without sounding insensitive. Let’s start with the most popular — “you guys couldn’t have your own kids?” This is probably higher on intrusive and offensive scale, but you can see how innocent curiosity can turn ugly. First of all, fertility or lack there of is really no one’s business other than a couples. That aside, terms like ‘your own kids’ is unbelievably hurtful for both the parents and the children. Neither are lesser parents or children through adoption. I am Margo and Fred’s kid through and through. The end.
In on it: What adoptive parents would like you to know about adoption is a great resource targeted to a group that’s largely forgotten in this whole process. If you’re part of our life or heck, if you want to just know more information, give this a read.
I say part 1 because “the moment” is really divided in three parts in my mind. Part 1 is being matched, Part 2 is our first trip meeting, and Part 3 is bringing our family together. John and I are immediately impacted, but the circle reaches so much further than just us. We can’t wait to share it with our friends and family and hope everyone can be fierce and supportive adoption advocates with us.
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So happy for you & John. Can’t wait to see pics. You will be an amazing mom 😘.
Enjoy ! Cindy @Subaru
Cindy!! Thank you so much. ❤️